Our Number Four, Theodore

In late January we found out we were blessed with a fourth child. In April, we saw our child resting. His heart was no longer fluttering inside my body. He was in heaven. We've been filled with sadness but also with peace and trust. 

The delivery was traumatic and my mother's heart broke for so many reasons. The pieces weren't scattered though, as my husband and my faith held me strong, helping me remember the incredible reality of where our son was, and who was holding him in our place.

Friends and family have showed us such surpising love, and this child has already blessed us in so many ways. 

We cannot mourn for our child, for he is where we hope to be some day. He only knows love.

We do mourn for ourselves, however, and what we have lost, a son, and a sibling.

But we hope our mourning is brief as we learn that we have not lost quite as much as we've gained: a saintly child that we can call our own. A brother who will intercede for us as we strive to meet him some day. 

Our number four, Theodore. 

This is a picture of our family this Easter when Theodore was most likely still with us. 

My amazing husband after a night of no sleep and lots of trauma. I'm so blessed to have my best friend with me, smiling for me, even in the ER. 

IV free and ready to go home to be with my other three. 

Giorgio made me this to hold when I want to pray to Theodore. It has been such a blessing to experience this alongside his innocent heart. He's unafraid to express everything that he thinks about it, and usually it's exactly how I feel too.  

The video we used to tell some of our friends about Theodore. We were blessed by his presence then, and still are.